poop

The good and the bad is what I have to write about today so I will start with some of the bad, first being I have been slacking a little in this blog quest and that's a bummer on my end because I encouraged so many people to come along on this journey. The good news on that is I read everyone's blog and everyone is doing so well and really making great strides (big claps for you guys because I <3 you so much) Second is I'm getting back into the flow of the blog now that the worst of my fears are over and I can now think about all the wonderful things in life that I miss out on.

More of the bad is that over this weekend me and my dearest had a pretty huge blow up and a lot of things were said. Some of the things said towards me were pretty hurtful but it as my brain began to process everything I started to realize how much I have let myself down as an artist and just as a go-getter. For the past couple of months I have been debating in my mind whether or not I am just being a realist and just waiting for my time to shine and explode on the scene, or am I just giving in to this routine and being content with all this mediocrity?  This is causing an internal identity crisis because I feel I can see myself surrounded by all these personas that I could be but I don't know who I am yet, and hopefully by the end of the year I  will have a better idea of who I will be.

More bad with a plus, I was doing so well on my diet until this weekend where I just became so terrible because I ate a total of three pizzas, a cheesesteak, cheese fries, and then famous Dave's between Friday thru Sunday. I wish I could throw up everything but it has all been digested already, my tummy is happy but I'm not so I hit the work out hard today and plan on being extra strict to make up for that bad weekend.

Work is work, but a little less boring and I haven't found out yet what my pay raise is yet, but I hope it's a lot or else I am going to have an annoyed. So far it's a  lot less boring than counting giant boxes of paper all day, but we shall see where it goes from here after all it's only been the first day.

Over the weekend Elaine and Dmitry came down to visit which was the best because I almost forgot how much fun and hilarious they are, which then in turn made me think about how crazy it would be to get everyone back together one day.  I still miss everyone everyday, but it was a great little break from the loneliness with out the bros.

 I know I've been saying this since day one, but I just have to keep saying it because I know it's true and that's good things are going to come my way and I just have to keep beingpositive